Jeff Stone and Eddie Munster join in search for missing Cowsill

It has been 29 days since Barry Cowsill turned up missing after Hurricane Katrina. I’ve been feeling pretty badly about my remarks last week on “Cowsill Chatter” when I suggested that maybe Barry had been medivacked to the Betty Ford Clinic and was going through heroin and cocaine withdrawal. As you may know from an earlier blog, one of his brothers justifiably posted a nasty reply.

So I decided to pitch in and help the family search for their missing brother. I didn’t have far to turn. One of my favorite Web sites – God only knows why - is Paul Petersen’s “A Minor Consideration” advocacy group for current and former child stars. Paul played Donna Reed’s son Jeff on “The Donna Reed Show.” After the show went off the air, Paul had some down years. A lot of down years, which he has faithfully documented in his many gut-wrenching interviews on Larry King, A&E, Geraldo, “True Hollywood Stories” and just about anyone else who’ll listen to his sad tale of celebrity hasbeendom.

Since Paul founded “A Minor Consideration” in 1990, he has pulled more than 500 former child stars out of the toilet and put them back on the road to sobriety. That’s pretty impressive. If it weren’t for Paul Petersen, I never would have found out about Stanley Fafara, who played Beaver’s friend “Whitey Whitney” on “Leave It To Beaver,” becoming a heroin addict, or the many “Little Rascals” tragedies. Now I can’t watch Beaver without thinking about smack.

I’ve whiled away many an afternoon fighting corporate boredom reading Paul’s open letters to MacCauley Culkin and the Olsen twins, imploring them to contact him. So I sent off an e-mail to Paul with links to the Cowsills' "Entertainment Tonight" segment. Yesterday, I received a reply from him agreeing with me that Barry’s story deserved to be spotlighted on the his Web site. Perhaps it was my e-mail pointing out the many similarities between Barry’s struggles as an adult to “Rusty Hamer, Anissa Jones and Dana Plato” – all former child stars who offed themselves – that grabbed Paul's attention.

I immediately sent him the press release that the Cowsills put out about their dickhead father, Bud, who squandered the kids’ money, alienated their business associates and forced them to grow up in a “household of fear,” leaving them with "no life skills for adulthood." It was perfect for “A Minor Consideration.” I also cut and pasted Paul's reply on “Cowsill Chatter” letting all the other fans know that “Flower Girl was on the job.”

Not to be outdone, Anne Marie, who’s been leading the online search for Barry, ignored my triumph after admitting that she couldn’t get through to Petersen’s Web site. She posted a message saying how she had been in contact with Eddie Munster – Butch Patrick – who was “talking to Paul Petersen’s people as we speak.”

Incidentally, I met Butch about 20 years ago at Tut’s in Chicago, where his band Eddie and the Monsters was opening for Peter Tork. I won a T-shirt in the “Eddie Munster Chug-A-Lug” contest by downing seven beers in 90 seconds. It’s sort of like winning a contest for taking the biggest dump, but who cares. I got to meet a celebrity, and Butch really appreciated my bringing up his obscure Disney work.

After the Cowsills’ press release appeared on his Web site, I sent Paul a short e-mail thanking him. So this morning, I got yet another e-mail from him explaining how he was trying to contact the family and that he had some people on the ground searching Houston homeless shelters where a bunch of street people from New Orleans had been evacuated. (Nice work, FEMA.) He also wanted to put the Cowsills in touch with another organization that assists families in searching for missing persons – the same group that helped put Scott Peterson in the can. He told me “A Minor Consideration” wasn’t afraid to get its hands dirty. I could hardly believe that Jeff Stone was e-mailing me – personally.

I was so proud of myself that I could not wait to share this good news on “Cowsill Chatter.” I also called the site’s Web master at 5 a.m. Pacific Time. She was pretty nice about me waking her up and promised to pass the information along to the family. I had second thoughts after I cut and pasted the second e-mail Petersen sent to me on “Cowsill Chatter.” I posted a follow-up message imploring fans not to swamp these organizations with e-mails and calls about Barry. I was really nice about it. The group was sending me “hugs” all day until this bitch named Barb posted a message saying how "Flower Girl" had insulted her and the rest of the diehard fans with my requests to respect the Cowsills’ privacy.

Unfortunately, I think Paul Petersen now believes I’m a former child star. He signed his e-mail, “Fraternally yours, Paul.” Little does he know how I would have loved to have been on television as a kid. I used to beg my mother to let me audition for a TV sitcom. I didn’t care if it was hard, unglamorous work. Even after I overheard young Darby Hinton, who played “Israel” on “Daniel Boone”, having a vicious argument with his mother about how he wanted to be home sleeping and not doing a publicity appearance at some fleabag tourist trap in Cherokee, N.C., where my family was vacationing, I still longed for the television limelight.

While I doubt I could have landed a starring role in a sitcom, I certainly could have nabbed guest spots as a mean and/or dumb fat girl who beat the crap out of Buffy or Cindy Brady; or a female, apple-chomping, Larry Mondello-type talking Chris and Tracey Partridge into pulling off some scam. I certainly would have had a shot at the Pamelyn Ferdin guest roles, the nasally whore.

One of the Cowsills posted a message shortly after my phone call saying they were now working with Paul Petersen’s organization to find Barry. If they do find him, I know they’ll give him all the credit, but I’m proud of the small role I played in the search for Barry Cowsill.

Anyway, I don’t think “Flower Girl” will be posting any more messages on “Cowsill Chatter.” I’m going to go back to my people at kennedyfamily.com. Those broads are probably wondering where I’ve been.